Intro to Revision piece

The Value of Communication

I chose this as my revision piece as I feel it was my best essay. Originally we were required to write a 3-4 page paper that analyzes how a specific cultural tradition has been challenged, altered, or undermined. Although I did well writing this piece there were several areas that needed to be shown to my audience rather than just told. I’ve gone through and spruced it up. I feel confident that aside from understanding my writings you will now be able to visualize the concepts as well. For example, in the original paper I created this sentence: “One of the best things about earlier ways of communication was the face-to-face contact, which showed that a person cared enough to step away from a busy schedule to spend time with a loved one.” That’s where I ended it and did not show the reader how this could be done. In the revised version, you’ll read this: “One of the best things about earlier ways of communication was the face-to-face contact, which showed that a person cared enough to step away from a busy schedule to spend time with a loved one. During an busy time of the school quarter, I received a late night invitation from a friend who was devastated to learn the she had Multiple Sclerosis and asked that I come over and spend a couple hours with her. Homework and sleep was put aside in order to support her right then.” I hope you enjoy the read!